This is, of course, why they shoot off fireworks on the fourth of July
Happy Birthday!
Consultant is older than I thought...
On July 4, 1777, the fledgling United States started celebrating Consultant’s birthday with bonfires, bells and fireworks and of course gifts. Martha would send over a couple bushels of cherries every year so that Consultant’s mother could bake him a cherry pie for his birthday (Years earlier Martha’s father-in-law father made her then young husband plant an entire orchard of cherry trees as punishment for chopping one down).
Even though the country celebrated our young Consultant’s birthday with Fireworks, and he had all the cherries he could eat (and of course a cherry pie); life wasn’t all a bowl of cherries. His father was constantly off fighting the British for political reasons until 1783. (Honestly it was all a big mistake, the colonies had ordered a shipment of coffee, only to discover that it was replaced by tea. Deep in the jitters of caffeine withdraw the colonists rightfully threw it all overboard into Boston harbor thus making it even more undrinkable. The British demanded that the colonists pay for the tea. Well no self-respecting Coffee drinker would be caught dead buying tea and thus the relationship between Great Britton and her colonies grew ever further apart).
Most young boys grow up wanting to be a fireman, the same could be said of our young Consultant. However, when he became of age (or slightly thereafter) he applied for work at the local fire house. However, it seems the years of putting out fires caused by Consultant’s Birthday Celebration (CBC) seemed to have embittered firemen everywhere. They were not amused. It seems that every fourth of July all firemen have to work extra hard because of accidental fires caused by CBC.
Alas with Consultant’s life long dream of being a fireman no longer available he wondered aimless for a few years until he met Three-Fingered Tom. Tom was an avid celebrator of Consultant’s Birthday, but not very careful with his fireworks handling thus he gained the name three-fingered while losing two. For years Tom and his buddy Huck would meet Consultant every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights and drink their sorrows away until the Temperance League chased them out of town and prohibition prevented them from continuing in their wicked ways (Don’t tell him Prohibition ended, his wife’s been telling him it’s still illegal to drink).
And that pretty much brings us up to today. I might have missed a few years.
